Lesson #16 in my “Average Sucks! Learning How To Become Remarkable” series. To begin the series (highly suggested), please click –> Here
Pretty bold title huh? You bet it is. However, if you have the courage to face your truth and read this through to the end I bet you may at least see that I am on to something here. Let’s begin. (Note, the word “begin” was used by design. Read on and ye shall see why.)
The single greatest reason why people don’t get what they want is because most never actually start. Yes, you heard that right. Most people don’t live fulfilled, happy, healthy, prosperous lives because they simply never start. They never begin. They never do what they know they must or at least should to get what they want. However, before we “begin” to learn how to defeat this dream killing pariah, let’s first understand what “it” really is and how “it” manifests itself in our minds and consciousness.
As you likely have often heard, the first step is commonly the most difficult. The discomfort or pain of actually doing it (taking action) is a greater force (in the moment) than the longer term desire or pleasure. A choice if you will between immediate numbness (caused by a combination of background chatter in your head that says, “I am just not ready” and the fear of the unknown) and the incredible discomfort of beginning. The real pleasure (your dream) is latent so it masks itself as pain. And reciprocally, the real pain (complacency) is masked as pleasure… giving up on that dream (or just coasting) is far more pleasurable because it is instant. “I’ll just start tomorrow.” “Next week.” “On Monday.” And, while we all know the pleasure of not doing anything is immediately gratifying, that pleasure is short lived and very often disruptive to our overall health, happiness and prosperity. It is the reason why too many of us feel so unsatisfied.
To beat this thing however, we need to go one step deeper…
It is the thoughts in your head that is driving you to either begin or not begin. If it is positive change you want in your life then yes of course, you need to create positive change in your behavior however, first, you need to create positive change in your thoughts. The real truth is that it is the discomfort of a particular thought, the thought of actually facing it (whatever it is that is in the way of your dream) that precludes you from actually getting what you want; getting probably all you want. In fact, I bet there are likely many first steps that are in your way of where you want to be. So the key then is, how do we become comfortable with uncomfortable thoughts first. How do we create a habit or positive pattern of leaning into those thoughts. Leaning into the discomfort of them. To the point where the thoughts actually are the things that change first (before your actions). New thoughts. New, positive, empowering ones!
After much practice – personally and professionally (with clients) I share with you my…
7 Step Formula For Creating The Internal Power Of Beginning
(A formula for helping you get everything you want)
Write It Down! When something moves from your brain (a thought) to something physical (a written message) the very energy of that future action changes. It is this step in itself that not only shifts the energy but, is the beginning of the momentum you are going to actually build.
Write Down WHY you are going to take the first step. List every reason why you should and will begin and also list every reason why (to date) you have not. Write both lists down neatly and completely. Post both lists on a wall so you can see it every day. Read it aloud every day for 10 days. After ten days…
Write Down Your Feelings, both the positive and the negative in what you are experiencing about beginning. (Step 2 are thoughts. Ten days later, Step 3 are feelings. Big difference!)
Share All Your Lists With 3 People Whom You Are Close To and ask for their input and support. Tell them you are working on changing your thoughts first so that your actions simply follow. Don’t be afraid to ask them what they think about what you shared and how they can possibly help you reframe your thoughts to more positive ones. Also, ask them to keep you accountable (this is very important!).
Crystalize It Down To A List Of Positive Thoughts (and feelings) why you will lean into the uncomfortable… into beginning and owning that which you are about to begin. Write down also how you are going to begin, what exactly you are going to do.
Establish A Start Date and Plan The Day. Write it in your calendar, put it in your phone, share it in all your social media accounts. Also, plan what you are going to do the actual day you start. When you are planning to get up. What you are going to eat, where you are going to go, everything. Write this all down in advance too. Each day leading up to your start date, continue to read all your lists of course but most importantly, read your list in Step 5 above 3 times a day. It should be one of the first things you do every morning, then one mid-day and then before you go to bed.